SHEETS OF SAN FRANCISCO
Unboxing and first impressions
First impressions do last, which is why packaging and the experience of unboxing, can set a strong baseline for how much you’re probably going to enjoy the product. In this case, the ‘dark-theme’ coloured box with a minimalist type font gives a stylish, sophisticated impression. As a Dane, j’approve, with my curiosity definitely being tweaked now.
I wait no longer and open the box: the charcoal black sheet is revealed, not a kink or a wrinkle, just plain, smooth…and ever so inviting. (A little side note: I had no real expectations about how it would feel, as my only previous experience with play sheets would be the run-of-the-mill vinyl ones or, in a more creative solution, a customised pvc tarp.)
Without hesitation, I accept this ‘invitation’ to touch the material, feeling it for the very first time. My surprise is genuine: soft to the touch, slightly rubbery and definitely feels like it’s good quality – which I bet anyone can feel, regardless of experience.
As coincidence would have it, I was looking for an excuse (as if I need one!) to go through my rather full dildo suitcase, and have my ass decide which dildos I’d keep, and which ones I wouldn’t. I thought this was the perfect opportunity to try out this ‘throw’ sheet.
Curious about possible different effects that different lubricants might have on the sheets, I decided to select more than one slippery partner in crime for this deed.
Mister B Double-F Fist Cream, Mister B Double-F Fist Lube, some pre-mixed J-Lube were chosen off the bat, and even though I myself loathe silicone lube, this was also added to the list for the sake of this review – and here I go:
The sheet is large enough to be tucked tightly around the mattress of my bed, and I immediately see how I could also use it as a cover for my couch, should playtime ever take place in the comfort of my publicly visible living room…again (trust me, we’ve had complaints).
Should you not know the obvious advantage of a play sheet: it’s simply relieving, not to have to think about your bedsheets and covering the intended play area with an arsenal of towels. For this test I’m specifically interested in the ‘fluidproof-ness’ of the sheet, the grip after lubrication comes into play, and how well it all cleans up.
As mentioned above, I now have the means and the motive to whip out my (mostly) phallic-shaped companions. I plug, plunge and plow away, with not a single care in the world about what is spilled or flowing over during application – this little piggy is feeling right at home!
To my surprise, none of the lubricants make the sheet really slippery with normal or even rather excessive spillage. I still feel able to move around on the covered area without losing grip. Only when I purposefully start pouring substantial amounts of J-Lube all around, I feel that I may just have made myself a homemade water slide which, by the way, is quite hot in its own way – but that’s a different topic.
We fast forward to that ‘dreaded’ moment where I don’t feel like moving a single muscle in my body anymore. Used and content, like a proper naughty boy. However, my room looks like any generic darkroom at the end of a successful night after the light comes back on, but with one disheartening difference: I’m the one who needs to clean up the mess.
The sheet most definitely kept its promise in terms of being fluidproof. As I carefully collect the corners to make the sheet a bundle of lube residue, not a single drop has reached my mattress. The cleaning instructions promise that it can safely be machine-washed and tumble dried on low setting, something I was slightly skeptical about.
However, there was no disappointment or surprise: the sheet came out as clean, sleek and soft as when I first unpacked it.
This product of Sheets of San Francisco delivers what it promises, the material feels amazing, it’s not as cold and uncomfortable to play on as most other play or throw sheets. The fact that you can literally mess around and not become an involuntary contestant on a perverted ‘Disney On Ice’ is a huge win and finally, it cleans up perfectly and with ease. I definitely recommend this for any play-at-home kinkster!
- Try a heated blanket underneath the normal sheets of the bed before putting on a Sheet of San Francisco, then preheat the play zone before mounting it, giving “hot sensation” a whole new meaning.
- In addition to the sheets, I’d recommend getting a couple of the pillowcases as well, for that extra ‘leverage’ when needed.