As the newest WINGS team member, I consider myself lucky to discover new (at least to me) people, parties, products and so much more – especially since I’m still in the process of finding my inner kinkster. When I was told about this lube that lights up when using a blacklight, I just had to try it out for myself. So, without further ado, let’s get acquainted with the Mister B DOUBLE-F NEON lube.
Experimenting with sex on my own is fun, but inviting someone over to do the experimenting with makes it even better. The more the merrier, as one might say. So, I invited a fuck buddy into my bedroom and shared with him my enthusiasm for the neon lube and asked if he wanted to be part of my trial (and this review). He was down. I thought it could go into two directions: it would be something playful and kinky AF, or it would be a big joke with two naked clowns covered in yellow mush.
We started kissing, jerking off, sniffing pits and balls, and rimming like there was no tomorrow, before we tapped into the neon world. As soon as we turned on the blacklight, the vibe in my bedroom changed; it felt like we were in my very own secret sex room. The now clearly neon-lit bottle of yellow lube screamed for our attention from my bedside table. My (guinea) pig and I looked into each other’s eyes, I grabbed the bottle, and I pushed out a few drops on my dick. It was mesmerizing. We were in my ‘dark room’ but somehow my dick figured out a way to stand out with the luminous drops resting on top.
But, the second I started touching myself and thus spreading out the lube, the effect was gone. Concentrated it’s nice and almost magical to look at, but as soon as you spread it out, there is nothing left but two naked bodies and a silly blacklight. Also, we had some issues with the light, because the cable wasn’t long enough for the light to reach the bed on its own, so we had to keep holding it and aim for our bodies. It wasn’t long after that that we both lost our boners. OK, blacklight off, normal lights on, and we continued fucking in the non-neon world.
Feeling slightly disappointed, I spoke to Tony (aka the big boss of WINGS). He mentioned that it probably would have been more effective during fisting. And then it occurred to me, we should have used sooooo much more lube! We already stopped after a dozen drops and didn’t give it a fair chance. Perhaps it was my awkwardness around the failed attempt that stopped me from pushing more. As fisting is something I’m not ready for (yet), I decided to try the lube again the next day, but then, just by myself to avoid any possible discomfort and inner judgement. No matter what, I was not ready to give up on this product.
Like the good little boy I am, I came prepared for the next day; towel on the bed in case it would get too messy, a backlight with extension cable, the door locked, and some poppers (just in case I needed to loosen up, pun intended). I got hard and I was ready to play. As intended, I didn’t just squirt a few drops down there, but I squeezed out a substantial amount, almost burying my dick with yellow gunge, in the most positive way. Why didn’t we just do this the day before?! Maybe it was the beautiful mix of bright yellow neon and purple blacklight, or maybe it was the whiff of poppers I had taken, but it all made me SO horny. And before I knew it, I was drizzling lube all over my hairy belly and groin. The lube wasn’t just lube anymore; it became this sexual, slippery, messy addition to my bate session. I kept on adding more to my dick, balls, and ass, and the view from above was amazing. If Picasso would have been a kinky one, he would have made this for sure.
And so it happened that the next day I texted Tony: “I take back my words…” It was so freaking hot! The most important advice to take away from this review is to use A LOT of lube (whether you’re fisting or not), more than necessary for the lube to do its job. Trust me, it’s worth it. Besides the pleasant feeling of the slipping and sliding, and the ‘messiness’, the luminating quality of this lube is also a surprising treat for the eyes. An unexpected bonus, at least for me, was the way it made me feel good about myself and my body. I don’t always feel as confident about my dick (size) but because I became this sort of sexual piece of art, I got to appreciate myself in a new and pretty pleasing way. Unfortunately, this product review only came with a sample of the lube, which is now completely empty. I’m ready for the real deal though. And maybe a bigger blacklight.
Check out MisterB.com for all your favorite lubes! And if you are in need of some expert advice, visit your local Mister B Store and have a chat with our lovely and welcoming staff. Are there any other products you would like me to try out and review? Feel free to slide into my DMs on Instagram @matthijsv