Let me start by asking you a question: in the heat of the action, did the smell or taste of someone’s sweat, cum, piss or spit instantly make you decide to either consume and continue, more ‘pheromonically’ aroused and ‘gluttonous’ than before, or to spit it out, gag or even puke, and be turned off completely? Or were you possibly puzzled on whether to greedily guzzle what got into your muzzle?

The chances that your reply is a firm ‘yes’ on the first, are substantial, I’d say. I mean: already since I was about 3 years old my reaction to the smell, taste or texture of food and drink, could be (and still can be) quite strong from time to time. This varied from getting all excited in the knowledge that a certain dish was for dinner or the smell of something good my mommy, auntie or granny was making or baking, to just being plain unreasonable and without explanation, crying and literally gagging – and not in a good way! – over my food. I’m quite sure that I’m not the only one.

There are many ways to explain why this reaction can be so strong, and practically all of them are related to your personal hormone household: dopamine, serotonin, vasopressin, and oxytocin to name a few. All of these have their own influence on your mood of the day, aggression, relationship issues, your way of dealing with problems and challenges in general, your appetite for food and, of course: for sex!! Many of these hormones can be regulated by certain foods and diets, but as there are too many to mention here in this article, I shall narrow it down to a certain range of, ‘say’: specific functionalities?

This brings me back to my question above, on bodily fluids, and orifices for that matter. The smell and flavour of these are determined by your diet. This includes food and drink of course, but also your intake of prescription and other drugs can have a serious impact on it all. To put it in black & white: it is safe to say that a healthy lifestyle and diet generally makes you smell and taste nicer than regularly being on a drug induced bender of several days, with only some junk food (literally now!) going into your body at some point…if anything. I will not get into the particular (and all too obvious!) effects that Tina or G (or some antibiotics even) may have on your bodily odours and flavours, but mainly focus on which particular foods and nutrients can increase the quality of spit, sperm, sweat and piss.

Aka saliva. Whether you spit it onto someone’s face, body, genitals or orifices: to lube up or just turn up the heat, good quantity and quality matters! A dry mouth is no one’s favourite and can lead to quality issues in no time as well. Smoking (tobacco or whatever) is detrimental, but also aging, diabetes and auto-immune conditions – as well as certain (prescription) drugs to treat these latter two – can have a negative impact on the production of good saliva. Next to this: dental hygiene…of course!! Brush, floss, brush, rinse, and repeat. Taking care of your dental works on a daily basis, makes all the difference. People sometimes complain about garlic or onion breath, but for me there really is nothing worse (read: turn off!) than the smell of a badly treated mouth, inflamed or even infected gums, rotting teeth….never mind the saliva, cuz’you ain’t gonna get closer to me than ‘just talking’ in such a case! If you’re worried that the smell of the food that you ate may be a turn off for your sexy partner-to-be, there’s this thing called chlorophyll. This wonderfully neutralising and refreshing ingredient is vastly present in mint and parsley, so chew on those when willing and (avail)able. If you can’t be bothered chewing leaves, go for a mint or chewing gum. Just make sure these are sugar free, as sugar tends to strongly diminish the effect of the above. And finally, the answer to a lot of the issues discussed in this article: drink.your.water! Water has an overall beneficiary effect on the body, the quantity and quality of your spit being no exception. Just spit it out there, baby!

Overall action sweat on the body, be it from exercising or other hot activities, can be a sight for sore eyes and crank up some heat already, but a musky pit, crack or other orifices…damn, this can be a real HUGE turn on. Even though I’m sure there are exceptions to this, I do think there’s nothing worse than smelling like last night’s garlicy take-out, or even worse: a hangover from hell, again: the longer the bender, the worse. Direct relations to potentially bad body odour are: sugar and white flour, caffeine, refined and processed foods, red meat, and generally foods that lack fibre. Even though cumin is also mentioned here and there, I’m on the fence on that one. I really don’t mind having a bit of a cumin-y smell out of someone’s pores, I mean: to me it resembles a bit that typical, musky sweat odour on men, and if it’s considered an aphrodisiac when eaten, why not when sweating it out? You are what you eat, they say, and this certainly does apply to the smell of your sweat, and one of my all-time favourite ways to increase this, is by applying certain spices in general, and vanilla in particular. Consume the marrow of (at least) one good quality vanilla pod a few hours before getting hot, and you’ll be surprised of the effect its fragrances cause in combination with your natural pheromones! Furthermore: just make sure you take your whole grains, spouts, leafy greens, fresh fruits and veggies, and high-fiber foods in general, and do your body odour – and thus your surroundings – a big favour!

Speaking of vanilla: this also improves the quality of your semen, and so does cinnamon! This natural aphrodisiac helps to warm up everything and is especially effective in combination with (natural!) honey, the sweetest of sweeteners for your sperm. They say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, and I totally agree! Berries are yin in energy and are the earth’s best natural sweeteners in taste and fragrance. The seeds also provide energy to our bodies as well as antioxidants. Eating a bowl of mixed berries (blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries) is a great way to add sweetness to semen. Blending them together with coconut water in a smoothie is just as effective. Coconut water is also good for semen because it replenishes sexual fluids. Grab a morning berry smoothie and enjoy its benefits during your next sex session. Not only is watermelon a natural diuretic, it helps with blood flow and is also a natural stamina booster for men. Drinking watermelon juice or eating a healthy sized bowl helps men maintain vigour during sex and produce tasty semen for swallowing. Greens are a major source of oxygen for the body and are highly detoxifying. Whether you eat raw, sauté, boil, juice, or blend into a smoothie, these vegetables will help maintain the body’s pH basic for better tasting semen. Cranberries, not the ‘easiest’ ones in my opinion, fall into the same category as their sweet berry sisters mentioned above. They are antioxidants and are known to help keep the urinary tract and prostate free of bad bacteria. Whether you decide to drink 100% pure cranberry juice, or put dried cranberries on top of a salad or solo as a snack, ingesting them goes a long way. And finally, there’s pineapples (one of my personal favourites): a great detoxifier for the body and they also work wonders when it comes to removing mucus. Eating them, or drinking a glass or two of pineapple juice, will improve the taste of your penile shout (or: shoot?) outs significantly. I just can’t get enough…and isn’t making you or someone else swallow with pleasure, make them want more, and as such: come back for more, simply all that we want, boys?

Aka urine. Apart from getting it it all over the body, the effects of this hot-shower-but-then-different-like sensation, and one very much up my street as part of the realm of exchanging bodily fluids, can differ very much with what you eat. The usual suspects here are broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus and artichoke, which, even though healthy and to be definitely included in your diet for a healthy bladder and urinary tract, simply make your piss stink and its taste a turn-off during sex. Cucumber and celery on the other hand, improve taste very much, being the rich source of water they are, with the latter having strong diuretic and antioxidant properties, which take care of all the nasty bits in your body that may cause odour and taste to be a bit off. Furthermore, fruits generally considered sweet also yield ditto flavour of your pee. Not my favourite to consume, and therefore a big surprise as well: diet soda is pretty big in the pee-fetish community because the artificial sweetener passes into the urine, making it sweeter and more palatable. You can try switching your traditional sugar with stevia, or if you drink your coffee without sugar you can try drinking a couple diet sodas throughout the day. All-in-all, plenty of ways to improve the taste of your golden juice, making it ready for spraying, guzzling and swallowing alike.

Now, even though it’s not really a matter of ingestion – more so of insertion, I feel my article isn’t complete with one special mention, simply because it’s food-related. It is said to be (haven’t tried it yet myself, but heard it from a very reliable source: Nereida, you know that sizzling hot chica that works in our Amsterdam store, and is featured elsewhere in this issue of WINGS) so very invigorating: figging. This technique, originally used in a horse’s asshole to make him lift his tail higher, and applied in human BDSM practices over time – basically means: inserting a nicely shaped piece of peeled ginger root in either the anus or the vagina, causing extreme heat-like sensations, and possibly a bit of pain, a pain that is considered an immense turn-on. Now, I’m not sure whether this has any far stretching effects on the ‘household’ of these orifices or overall body health, but a little ginger never (really) hurt anybody, and if you like the taste…why the hell not?

Hope all this helps, both to get your diet right, and to try out some more with your bodily fluids than you may have so far. I know I will…lick, slurp, guzzle, swallow…and repeat.