MISTER & MISTER
In this issue of Wings we take a slightly different, if not somewhat unconventional, look at ‘Brotherhood’ in the fetish community. Mister Leather Berlin (2018) and Mister Leather Spain (2019) have successfully maintained a loving relationship whilst handling the pressures and recognition that tag along with their titles. Jens and Jose sat down to tell us a little bit more about them and their experiences as a Mister & Mister couple.
How long have you been a couple for and how did you meet?
Jens: I am going to stay quiet because if I say something wrong right now, he is probably going to hit me!
Jose: Haha! We’ve been dating since November 2016. We started talking on Instagram and at some point he asked me if he could come to Barcelona to meet me. Look at him — of course I said yes!
Jens: I hadn’t planned to go to any fetish events or parties whilst I was there. I just went with the intention of spending a ‘chill’ weekend with a local. Things escalated from there and the rest is history.
Speaking of Instagram – on almost every picture you both post, there is the hashtag #sendraboots. How did that mutual obsession come about?
Jens: Well, you have the niche of gay men, then the niche of the leather guys and then those that are into cowboy boots — when looking for someone, you can narrow down your search quite a lot! Sendra boots are a subset of a subset of a subset.
Jose: Since I was a child I got horny from leather boots, but cowboy boots really get me going. So, when I came across Sendra boots (which is the combination of the two), I was sold. I think that was the hashtag that brought us together!
Jens: It was some impressive Instagram matchmaking and the main reason I started messaging him. I think it was a recommended post from Instagram actually. Maybe it was a promoted post, who knows? (He smirks, looking over at Jose.)
Jose: I didn’t pay them to promote me, I swear!
You were both in a relationship before you became Misters. What changed in your personal lives after having been elected?
Jens: When you become a Mister it really is like a second job. If you commit and put all your focus and energy into that role, it can easily turn into a full-time occupation. The time and effort I poured into being a representative for my community was a hard strain to put on my relationships, with my boyfriend and my friends. A lot of people didn’t see me for most of the year.
I was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It is extremely exhausting but also extremely rewarding as long as you keep in mind that you are in a position to make a difference. Not sleeping properly in weeks and weeks becomes justifiable when you are having a positive impact on other people’s lives.
How did you balance the responsibilities and ‘fame’ of being Misters with your relationship?
Jose: The hardest thing was wanting to spend some alone time with each other and not having the opportunity to do so, because you are constantly surrounded by people. Trying to find those moments of intimacy was quite difficult. Naturally, when you are at these events you are prepared to share your partner’s attention with other people. At the same time, when you are in a new city, you want to go to a restaurant or do some sight-seeing just one-on-one and that proved to quite difficult.
Jens: Exactly! Going to a museum instead of a club together didn’t happen that often. On the other hand, because we were both ‘Misters’ at the same time, this was easier to accept, knowing what the other was going through. It may seem strange from an outsider’s perspective as to why we are doing this and why we are always running around and getting stressed, but when you have been in this position you can totally relate. In that sense we were quite lucky to be title holders simultaneously.
When you do get a moment alone, what do you enjoy doing together?
Jens: Aside from the whole leather thing, we are both pretty big nerds, albeit in slightly different ways. I am more of the computer tech guy and Jose is more of the ‘Japanese manga- culture’ and K-Pop guy.
Jose: We also both love video games! Total ‘gaymers’! We can spend a whole evening beating each other’s asses on MarioKart and SuperSmash brothers.
Jens: When it comes to anything Nintendo, Jose wins. When it comes to playstation or other platforms — that’s my time to shine!
Jose: What can I say? I like playing games that are colourful and sparkly.
Jens: When he plays as Princess Peach, watch out! He will win.
Is there much competition between you two outside of the video game world? How about with other guys?
Jens: Sometimes a little! Usually, we have quite different target groups and we are not
hunting for the same types of guys. So if Jose is getting lucky and I am not, it is just because of personal preference. At least that is what I tell myself whilst I cry myself to sleep…..Haha!
Jose: I go more for big, muscly men and he goes for cute, nerdy guys. Sometimes we share but there isn’t much left of them when I am finished!
What other dreams or ambitions did you have to discard to get where you are now?
Jens: In my case, it may sound as boring as it does interesting. I always wanted to become a professor for theoretical astrophysics — the whole Big Bang Theory thing. I actually studied for that but when I graduated, I realised I had interests and passions for which I needed money to pursue. I switched over to another line of work and I am currently CEO of a software company. It suits me nicely and goes well with being a Mister. I even get to wear my leather to work — see? (He points down at the dapper leather shirt and tie look he is sporting for our interview.)
Jose: I wanted to be a vet since I was a child because of my love of animals. When I finished university, the employment situation was not great in Spain and that is when I started working at Zara. My colleagues are all very interested in my ‘Mister activities’ — even the straight guys compliment me on my leather pants. I may not be a practicing veterinarian right now, but for the first time I am completely happy with my life. I have an amazing boyfriend, family and friends and I get to travel the world in Sendra boots!
What advice would you give our readers that may be thinking about embarking on a similar journey with their partner?
Jose: If one or both of you want to be a Mister, you must practice patience. It can be very difficult at times but it is worth it when you know it is something your partner wants and when what you truly want is for them to be happy. Seeing your loved one feeling fulfilled and seeing all the goals they have achieved can be the biggest reward ever when you just have patience.
Jens: The most important thing is unlimited and unwavering trust. No matter where Jose is going, what he is doing and with whom, I know at the end of the day he is coming back home to me. I absolutely and unconditionally trust him not to hurt me or do anything that I would not approve of. That is the key to surviving a ‘mister and mister’ relationship — surviving any relationship for that matter! Sacrifice, trust and patience.
Interested in using Instagram’s tried-and-trusted match-making service?
Check out these two lovers at gearupberlin and @bcn4lthr to get some ‘hashtag dating’ tips, a Sendra boots obsession and a hard-on — all at the same time!
@Riesch T-huis Photography