The title to this Top 10 is pretty self-explanatory. So, let’s get into it immediately for a change instead of me rambling on and on, and on and on, and on and on…
Submission and domination are two sides of the same coin. A coin that usually lands with the sub side up when I flip it. There are times when I crave going into sub space; that state of consciousness where I completely submit to the other, that superior person in total control called Master, Sir, Daddy or Whatever. When I truly submit, I can go to dark places where my personality fades into non-existence, where I give up my humanity and transform into an animal, an object, an it. The lights are on but there’s no one home, that sort of thing. Waiting to be restrained, trained, humiliated and abused, but – there’s always a but – only when I’m playing with a partner that I’m really into and trust. A guy with the right mix of good looks, intelligence and a naturally dominant personality, maybe even some arrogance thrown in there for effect. Someone with a sense of humor and the ability to step out of the scenario that’s being played out when necessary, who can relate to me from person-to-person in that moment, and who’s able to give me that fucking hug when I fucking need it most. #needy
The thing with coins is, that when you toss them high up in the air, they tend to land on the other side every once in a while as well. Recently that seems to be happening to me more often than it did before. There’s this cliché about subs being the best dominants. I don’t know if that’s always the case, but speaking from personal experience, I can be quite the beast when I’m in charge, especially when I see that the other person really wants it. I know what they’re after, even if they’re not aware of it themselves (yet). I was talking to a friend recently over coffee about financial domination, better known as findom. That’s where a sub willingly pays you money for dominating them or when they buy you gifts from your Amazon Wishlist. We were wondering how you would start that conversation. My friend suggested telling his sub the following: “Hey pig, be my wallet!” I will admit that robbing someone blind as part of a powerplay scenario doesn’t feel ethical, but then again, getting free stuff is always welcome, hahaha.
Flogging is my number one (guilty) pleasure ever since I saw a Bound Gods video from way back when featuring Dak Ramsey as a night nurse with a really bad work ethic. In the video he taunts and abuses a sex addict locked up in an isolation cell. The sex addict is wearing a straitjacket which makes it impossible for him to escape his current situation. Dak puts his victim’s face to the floor, naked ass up, he pulls out a flogger and starts beating the sub’s feet continuously while shouting insults at him. He tells him to stop moving his feet every time the flogger hits the flesh of his soles, but they keep moving involuntarily anyway. “They moved AGAIN, STOP moving YOUR FEET”, Dak screams angrily over and over again. He is relentless and goes on way too long. It made me super-duper hard. Still does. Flogging is about self-sacrifice, endurance, wanting to be beaten and knowing how to take the pain. It’s a mental and physical game. The sex addict video motivated me to buy a flogger years later, when I finally had the courage to try it out myself. I only use it with a guy that I really want to submit to and when I do, it’s fireworks.
- Outdoor play
I don’t have a ton of experience when it comes to playing outside. There was this one time though, on a rock on a beach in Sitges, that I remember fondly. I was there with my summer crush. It was the middle of the night, the stars were out, there was thunder in the distance, and lightning lit up the sky every few seconds. My lover was exciting, sweet and handsome. The rock was hard and rough, and so were we. Waves kept crashing into it and the salty water splashed onto our naked bodies. Just when we found our footing on the uneven ground, we spotted a guy six meters ahead of us sitting on the edge of the same rock, staring at us. Instead of ignoring him and putting on a show, we hastily put on our shorts and ran.
Playing outside triggers my imagination. That idea of being surrounded by nature, with no one around, but not knowing for sure… Whenever I’m driving through Germany, I can’t help but fantasize about making love in one of those seemingly never-ending dense forests that I see when I look outside the car window. There must be people fucking there right now, right? Right? I really SHOULD get out more! #anyoneupforahike?
- Chastity play
For a long time, I did not understand this kink. The idea of locking up my cock in a cage seemed kinda pointless – you need your dick for sex, right? But then it suddenly made sense. When someone locks up your cock, they take away your ‘manhood’. They’re in control of your orgasms. It’s exciting during a play session because you can be reduced to just being a hole when you’re submitting to them. Plus, it’s kinda kinky to wear a cock cage in normal life. It makes you horny ALL THE TIME and you can’t do anything to relieve yourself. Meeting your key holder (the person who locked up your junk and kept the key) days or maybe even weeks later makes the sex you are about to have explosive – if you’re allowed to take it off that is. There’s also some romance to it. You basically hand over your cock and all the pleasure you get from it to them as a gift. Kinda sweet, right?
CBT is short for Cock and Ball Torture. It’s another dick-related fetish that I couldn’t wrap my head around, until one night. I was spooning in bed with my lover, and I felt his hand sliding into my underwear. First, he grabbed my cock and balls, then he began pulling and pinching my foreskin simultaneously. It made me moan and twitch. He told me to be quiet, I did as I was told, and he continued what he was doing. Since then, torturing my dick has become a surefire way to get me hard. When it’s being done to me, I really want it, at the same time I don’t, but I kinda do anyway. The same goes for slapping my balls. It’s intense, painful, and at the same time, it’s really hot and pleasurable. CBT, like life (I’m getting existential here), can be a struggle, but when you do it properly, it’s a beautiful thing. #namaste
When I was younger (aka a judgmental, insecure douche) I thought that having a foot fetish was one of the tackiest things in existence. Then, there was this sudden moment of clarity many years later when I realized I actually had a foot fetish myself (there was probably a foot in my mouth at the time, or I was still enjoying its pungent aftertaste). Feet can take you places, when they are stuffed in your mouth or ass, and they can also put you IN your place, when they are hitting or kicking you. Having your feet licked and worshipped on the other hand can feel really empowering, and best of all, they don’t cost a thing.
Fisting is a fetish that is an ongoing process for me. For some kinksters it’s the only thing that keeps them going, but for me it’s an amazing activity to partake in when it’s on offer. The act of taking or giving a fist is a deeply personal one, and that’s not a pun on my part. When I open up someone (or vice versa) I connect with them physically and mentally. You look into their eyes and see how they react; based on that you continue or change course. Taking a fist takes time. Don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t work out immediately. Getting there is half the fun. Buy some dildos, start out with smaller sizes, and work your way up. Make sure to play hygienically, communicate with your partner, and enjoy what you’re doing.
- Playing with porn stars
Don’t be afraid to fuck a porn star. When a person is confident enough to show off their bed skills to the world in front of a camera, chances are high that they know how to perform in real life as well. Fucking with porn stars is basically bringing your fantasies to life. I’ve had the chance to play with multiple porn stars over the years and I have zero regrets. Disclaimer: I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to be supportive. The porn stars I had the pleasure to meet and ‘greet’ were mostly openminded, confident, self-aware, and fun people. So, if the person you’ve been jerking off to more than once suddenly appears on your grid, go for it, and reach out to them! Just make sure they’re not fakers (aka catfish). Ain’t nobody got time for that!
- Dressing up
Kinksters love to dress up and I’m no exception to that rule. Putting on different articles of clothing does something to your psyche. It can tap into parts of your personality that you might not even be aware of. Put on a latex gimp mask and your identity suddenly ceases to exist; you will become an expressionless, anonymous being, and that will definitely have an impact on how you behave during your play session (been there, done that, doing it again tomorrow). The same goes for mixing your fetish gear with regular items of clothing. Wear that leather harness with a baseball cap, combine that rubber jock with your faux fur winter jacket, maybe even slip into that pink onesie that makes you look like a furry little bear, and go fuck the shit out of your partner with it! Gurrrrr.
Make sure to check www.misterb.com for toys and gear that will help you unlock your true fetish potential. And if you need any help, come visit one of our stores in Amsterdam, Berlin or Antwerp for some professional advice from the Mister B team. Oink!